if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
