Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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