why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
