I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
