She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Randomize
