Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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