Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
