We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
