from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
