your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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