No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm getting married
To pizza
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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