i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
