How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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