I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize