I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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