I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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