I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just want to make out with him forever
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
