Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
it's like heaven, but drunker
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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