we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I love having hate sex.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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