If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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