so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
