dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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