My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
