After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
