It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
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He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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