you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
