I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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