I'm lost and stupid without you.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
