we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize