Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
