my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
