yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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