Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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