Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
