I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
