Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
