Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Randomize
