Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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