I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Vodka?
Forever.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
