I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
