I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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