Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize