Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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