I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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