Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
