Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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