I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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