you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
