Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
one two three fourrrrnication!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
