i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
and she was petting her beer can
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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