They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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