whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
there is glitter all over my balls
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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