Whod you bang
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
