Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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