i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize