Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
