I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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