apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
