I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
