I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
