Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize