the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
