I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
