Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
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